On June 28th, 2023, Colleen Ballinger made internet history in the worst way possible. She uploaded a somber ten-minute video titled ‘hi’. The audience assumed this was Colleen Ballinger’s apology. However, the YouTuber used a ukulele and a song to address the recent accusations against her. Everyone who watched shared the same feeling:
Is this real? Why in the world did she think this was a good idea?
Within a matter of hours, the now viral video will forever live in YouTube infamy. Colleen’s Ballinger’s apology stands to be in the top three list of the worst YouTube apologies alongside Sienna Mae’s interpretive dance apology and the forever terrible Logan Paul’s ‘relapse in my judgement’ apology. However, it did not have to be this way. Colleen could have produced a sensible video apologizing and explaining her actions. She could have made a decent comeback after that fact. However, that possibility of redemption is no longer there. Or at the very least, she has now made it harder for herself to put this situation in the past. But how did we get here?
Colleen Ballinger rose to YouTube fame through her Miranda Sings skits. Miranda Sings was a character whose whole shtick was their blunt attitude and lack of social etiquette. It was a character that appealed to a younger audience and helped Colleen’s rise in popularity. She soon branched out to vlogging, showcasing her singing, and got herself a Netflix show that ran for two seasons. However, her rise in popularity in these early years of social media would come back to bite her in the present.
The Allegations Against Colleen Ballinger
To understand why Collen Ballenger’s Apology, or non-apology, is so bad we have to turn to the allegations. The allegations surrounding Colleen concern her relationships with younger fans. She was in a group chat with a select number of lucky fans. The result was conversations that those young fans later revealed were inappropriate. Colleen put herself in an inappropriate situation where she had conversations with minors as if they were equals. As a twenty-something myself, I could never see myself having a ‘friendship’ with young teenagers due to the age difference and the fact that we live in different worlds. In addition, she used this pretense of ‘friendship’ with her fans to allegedly ask for help with her social media and Miranda Sings character. Those in the group chat later revealed their feeling of exploitation working for Collen for free.
Ultimately, there is a boundary between celebrity and fan. There is a boundary between adults and children. Colleen Ballinger crossed both of those lines by trying to have a weird ‘friendship’ with her minor fans. Whether she had well intentions or not, it does not matter.
The other batch of allegation’s stem from her stand-up comedy shows as Miranda Sings. As explained earlier, Miranda Sings is a character that has a blunt way of discussing topics and does wacky behavior. In these shows, there were bits where a fan would come on stage to interact with Miranda. Fans and critics have claimed that these bits were inappropriate given the action that was being done with young children. In one case a young boy grabbing a cheese ball snack from Miranda’s pants, and in the other a girl whose legs are spread apart while wearing revealing clothing. Needless to say, these two separate instances have put a critical lens on Miranda Sings as a character.
The Apology?
While I say this is Colleen Ballinger’s apology, it’s actually not a real apology. There was no instance where she seriously acknowledged and apologized for past inappropriate behavior. Instead, she put herself on some moral high ground by implying that the response to the allegations have been in bad faith and exaggerated for clout. She admits her mistakes, but quickly goes on the defense by pointing the finger at the audience and stating everyone makes mistakes. All of this on top of the already overly dramatized performance where she has written, rehearsed, and set up this musical number all to show vulnerability without being vulnerable.
This video revealed Colleen Ballinger’s painfully self-centered perception of reality. Instead of reflecting on her behavior and confronting the pain she has caused victims, Colleen cared more about her image as a kind person. She cared more for what her fans would think. In this bit, she continually minimizes her behavior and repeats that she is still a good person. By doing so, she is refusing to see any real fault in her actions and chooses to stay in her comfortable lane.
There Is No Coming Back From This for Colleen Ballinger
Ultimately, this video served to hurt Colleen Ballinger’s reputation more than it helped. Anyone who had wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt is perplexed by the callousness of her response. Anyone who had no idea who she was is now being exposed to her actions and the absurdity of this situation. The victims and critics who have always spoken up against her are only more indignant in their belief that Colleen will never change. If Colleen Ballinger wanted to move past the allegations without much fanfare, well she has made it almost impossible now. Her ukulele bit will live in infamy as an absolutely comical ‘apology’. It will be the video people constantly reference. She didn’t clear her name, but she did make this an integral part of her legacy as a YouTuber.
Further Reading/Viewing:
To see the original source of allegations, there’s Adam McIntyre’s OG 2020 Video Accusing Colleen Ballinger of inappropriate behavior, and then Adam McIntyre’s Updated 2023 Video.
For a an overall deep dive, here’s the article by the Huffington Post.
